


When You Fall

by AoifeLaufeyson



Series: When you fall [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Aftercare, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bad BDSM Etiquette, Bucky Barnes Bingo 2019, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Canon-Typical Violence, Dom Steve Rogers, Don't copy to another site, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, No Aftercare, Protective FRIDAY, Sub Tony Stark, Subdrop, Tony Stark Bingo 2019, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, WinterIron Bingo 2019, steve rogers needs a clue, tony - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-23
Updated: 2019-10-11
Packaged: 2020-03-10 00:23:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18927544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AoifeLaufeyson/pseuds/AoifeLaufeyson
Summary: Steve makes a mistake and he and Tony have a way to go before they recover from it. Characters, relationships, and tags will updated as the story moves along. See end for more spoilery notes.Tony Stark Bingo 2019 S1: Kink: BDSMBucky Barnes Bingo 2019 U4: Sharing a bedWinteriron Bingo 2019 G1: Hurt/Comfort





	1. In which Tony doesn't know what he's talking about and Steve needs to get a clue

**Author's Note:**

> I feel like this story might have a mind of its own despite what I have planned. I'd love to hear where you think it might end up!

Steve’s hands gripped Tony’s hips, tilting them up and forcing his face and shoulders to press harder down into the mattress. His hands were bound together at the small of his back and his breath came in short gasps punctuated by his shouts as Steve pounded into him over and over again. Steve slid his hands back to grip the globes of his ass, admiring the way his finger left white marks across the reddened skin that quickly filled back in with the heat of the beating he’d taken. 

Tony was loose and pliant in his hands, accepting all the pain and pleasure Steve had given him over the evening equally and so beautifully it made his heart ache to witness it. It had been an intense night, and Steve felt himself quickly approaching his release. He reached around and took Tony’s hard, leaking cock in his hand stroking him hard and fast. 

“Come on, Tony. You’ve done so well, baby, come for me now, come now, Sweetheart.” 

Tony let out one last scream as his long-delayed orgasm exploded out of him and over Steve’s hand. Steve kept stroking him as he shuddered and clenched hard around Steve who let out his own shout and came blindingly hard deep inside Tony’s velvety heat. He gave a few last thrusts as he rode out his release then leaned forward to press a kiss against the back of Tony’s neck while his hands moved to undo the ropes binding his wrists. 

He eased Tony over to rest on his side while Steve got up to get water and a warm cloth to clean him up. As he returned to the bed, he caught sight of his phone lit up with an alert and glanced over just in time to see the message from Sam, _911 @ v.a._ He cursed under his breath; this was the worst possible time. 

He set the water bottle on the table by the bed, and gave Tony a quick wipe down, shifting him away from the spot where his cooling release now stained the sheets. He didn’t have time to change them, but figured it would hold until he got back. He dropped the cloth to the floor and knelt beside the bed. 

“Tony, how are you Sweetheart?” 

Tony smiled dreamily, a blissful expression still on his face. “M’good, Babe. That was amazing. Gonna hurt in the morning.” He leaned towards Steve, pressing against the hand that was stroking his hair. “Cuddles now?” he asked. 

Steve groaned in frustration and kissed Tony’s forehead. He wanted nothing more than to climb into the bed, soiled sheets and all, and hold Tony close, but Sam wouldn’t have messaged like that lightly. If he said 911, then it was a true life and death emergency, and Steve needed to go. 

“Tony, can you focus for a minute? I need you to pay attention.” He spoke gently, but firmly and was relieved when Tony shifted his gaze slightly to look straight at Steve. “I have to go out for just a little bit. Sam texted; he has an emergency-” He would have continued to explain and promise his quick return, but Tony cut him off. 

“Go, Babe, you go. M’fine. Be right here waiting when you get back.” He waved a hand in Steve’s direction, like he wanted to touch his face, and Steve caught it and kissed his palm. 

“God, I love you.” Steve leaned in for one last kiss, a sweet brush of their lips together and Tony smiled as he pulled back. 

“Love you too, babe. Now go ‘way, lemme sleep.” He snuggled down into the covers, pulling the blanket up around his shoulders. 

Steve quickly pulled on his own clothing then grabbed his phone and headed for the door. He stopped for one last look back at his lover. Tony’s eyes were closed and his face looked peaceful and relaxed. Steve hated leaving, and a part of him knew that he shouldn’t, but Sam was relying on him, and Tony had said he was fine. He flipped off the lights and left the room. The faster this crisis was dealt with, the sooner he’d be back in bed with Tony where he belonged. 

\---//--- 

Tony drifted into sleep, warm under the covers, and still feeling the high of the scene he and Steve had just shared. There was the faintest hint of nervousness in the back of his mind as Steve left and he drifted off alone, but he was warm and comfortable, and his body was flooded with endorphins. Steve would be back soon, they would spend the rest of the night together, and everything would be fine. 

He woke up a couple of hours later, and everything was not fine. He thought it was his shivering that woke him. He reached for Steve, seeking the supersoldier’s warmth, but his hand found only empty sheets with a drying, slightly sticky spot in the middle. He recoiled in disgust and called out for Steve, but there was no response. He stayed in bed for a while longer, shivering and aching, missing Steve so much that it was a physical pain deep in his gut. 

Eventually, he couldn’t stand being alone in the bed any longer and he rolled over and forced himself to stand up. He groaned loudly at his body’s protest and ran a hand down the back of his ass and thighs. His skin was hot to the touch and he was certain if he looked in the mirror, it would still be bright red, maybe even bruised here and there. It had been amazing while it was happening, but the afterglow was gone and now it just hurt. Every muscle and joint in his body felt stiff, tight, and sore. He made himself take a step, and then another. 

Once he reached the bathroom, he looked at the mirror and grimaced at his reflection. No wonder Steve had left him alone, he looked awful with his hair a mess, skin blotchy, and dark circles under his eyes. 

After a moment, he decided he didn’t have the strength to shower and he returned to the bedroom, searching for his clothes. He pulled on his own sweats and one of Steve’s long-sleeved t-shirts. The thing probably could have covered two of him, the ends of the sleeves fell past his fingertips. Another time, he would have enjoyed the feeling of swimming in Steve’s clothes, but everything just felt too bad for good thoughts right now. 

Tony shuffled out of the room and towards the communal kitchen. No one else was there, and he fumbled with the coffee maker, his hands trembling and seemingly unable to find the right button to start the coffee brewing. He let out a small cry of frustration and sank down to the floor in front of the machine, knees pulled up and arms wrapped around them. He leaned against the cabinet and fought to hold back the tears filling his eyes. 

“Steve... where are you...” His voice was barely a whisper as the tears overflowed. He almost wished he would die just to stop feeling like this. Every part of him hurt, he couldn’t stop shivering, and he felt so alone. He couldn’t remember where Steve had gone; he only knew that they’d had an amazing scene, and he couldn’t remember ever feeling so good. But then Steve had left, left Tony alone, barely kissed him before he’d gone. Deep inside, he had known it was just a matter of time before Steve left and now it had happened. He was gone. 

Tony let out a choked sob as his thoughts continued to spiral downward. All he could think was that he’d done _something_ wrong, that he’d driven Steve away, hadn’t been good enough, strong enough, and now he was alone, so alone, just like he knew he always would be. Steve was gone and Tony sat alone, crying his heartache on the kitchen floor. 

\---//--- 

That was how Bucky found him when he walked into the kitchen a short while later. He had been in his room, staring at the blank page of his journal. He was supposed to write each day about his recovery, he memories, his likes and dislikes. 

Today had been a rough day and he was having trouble organizing his thoughts enough to write them down. Or was it yesterday that had been rough? It was late, but he wasn’t sure just what time it was. He was still staring at the blank page when Friday’s lilting voice sounded softly in his room. 

“Sergeant Barnes, would you come to the kitchen please?” Bucky glanced up curiously, wondering why she needed him in the kitchen. 

“Sure, what’s up?” He snapped the journal shut and pushed it into a drawer as he stood and padded barefoot out of the room. He’d given up ages ago trying to get her to call him Bucky. She had simply agreed and then continued ignoring the request every single time. 

“Boss requires assistance.” She hadn’t answered right away, and for a moment, he thought she was going to ignore him. Now he just wondered what Tony might need _his_ help for, and why Steve wasn’t there doing whatever it was Tony needed help with. 

Bucky cursed loudly when he walked into the kitchen and found Tony curled up on himself with tears still streaming down his face. He regretted it immediately when Tony flinched at the sound, and looked up at him with red-rimmed eyes only to drop his gaze again once he recognized who it was. He shrank in even smaller on himself and hid his face in his arms. 

“Go away. I’m fine. I don’t need-” Tony mumbled into his arms, hating that anyone had found him like this.

Bucky cut him off and knelt directly in front of him. “Stop. You _do_ need. Talk to me, Doll. What happened?” Bucky reach out and slipped a hand down the side of Tony’s face and lifted his chin. He was gentle, but his strength did not allow Tony to resist the movement. Tony glanced up at him, then looked down at the floor between them. 

“Steve. Steve left.” Tears still spilled down his cheeks and his voice was dull and flat. 

Bucky just looked at him for a moment, unable to comprehend what he meant. He knew that Steve was stupidly in love with the small genius and there was no way he had broken up with him. 

“Friday, where is Steve?” 

“Captain Rogers left the tower after receiving a text message from Mr. Wilson.” Bucky frowned, wondering what could have been so important that he would leave Tony alone in this state. Well, it didn’t really matter right now. Seeing Tony like this triggered Bucky’s protective instincts, the same ones that had him pulling his little Stevie out of fights from one end of Brooklyn to the other back when they were kids. But that was a long time ago, and if he didn’t have a good explanation for this situation, Bucky would be the one kicking Steve’s ass. But that would come later. All that mattered to him right now was taking care of Tony and making sure he was alright. 

He stopped long enough to send a text to Steve. _Get your spangled ass back to the tower now, shithead._

He paused for a moment then snapped a picture of the crying genius curled up on himself on the kitchen floor and sent that to Steve as well. It might have been a touch cruel, but he knew Steve and knew he sometimes let his priorities get mixed up. There was literally nothing Bucky could imagine that would justify leaving Tony like this, so the picture was just in case Steve might need a reminder of exactly where his priorities should be right now. 

He slipped his phone back into his pocket and reached for Tony, picking him up and cradling him easily in his arms. Tony muttered and pushed against his chest for a moment before he gave in and slumped against Bucky, resting his head on his shoulder. He sucked in a pained breath as Bucky’s grip tightened around his hips and Bucky frowned again. Tony didn’t look or act injured; what would cause him to- 

“Friday, what were Tony and Steve doing before Steve left?” He had his suspicions, but wanted confirmation. 

“Boss and Captain Rogers were engaged in a private activity, Sergeant, and Boss would not like it if I gave you details.” The AI’s voice sounded prim and mildly shocked, but he knew she had no problem embarrassing Tony in other circumstances. If she was being hesitant and closed-mouthed about his sex life now, she must be truly concerned. Which was why she called him; Tony was in no shape to have done it himself. 

“I understand Friday. He’s gonna be just fine.” The AI gave a wordless hum in response, but didn’t say anything else. “Come on, Doll, let’s get you to bed.” Tony found enough energy to protest at that suggestion. 

“Can’t. Sheets are dirty.” Bucky frowned as he walked into Tony’s bedroom and took a closer look at the bed. A moment was all he needed to take in the stained and rumpled sheets; he knew that he couldn’t put Tony into his own bed like this, and right now he didn’t think he could even put him down long enough to take care of it . 

“Alright, Doll, don’t you worry about it, we’ll find another bed for you tonight.” Bucky turned around and left the room, this time heading straight for his own bedroom. It was only moments before he was pulling back his heavy, weighted comforter and laying Tony down on his slightly fuzzy, flannel sheets. But Tony let out a hiss of pain as he touched the bed, and Bucky quickly knelt beside the bed to be on eye level with him.

“Tony. Can you tell me what’s wrong? Are you hurt?” Bucky’s experience was enough that he had an idea, at least in general, of what went on between Tony and Steve. But he didn’t have first hand experience taking care of someone afterward like this, so he was mostly playing it by ear, and trusting his instincts and Tony’s cues to let him know what he needed to do. 

Tony’s cheeks flushed pink and he turned his face away as he mumbled, “Just sore. Steve- we- he...spanked me.”

Bucky ran his hand soothingly through Tony’s hair. “Hey, you’re okay, Doll, nothing to be embarrassed by. If ya both wanted it and ya both liked it, then it’s fine. But I’ve never seen ya quite like this before, after… Can you tell me what happened? Is there something I can do to make it easier till Steve gets back?”

Comforted by Bucky’s soft words and the hand that continued to pet him, Tony rolled onto his side facing Bucky. He was starting to come back to himself enough to recognize what was happening. “S-subdrop. When it’s really good or intense- and it was tonight- when you come down from it, when it’s over, it makes you feel like shit. Steve- he’s coming back right? He didn’t really leave me?”

“I’m not sure where he went, but I promise he’s coming back soon. Now, what’s the best thing for me to do? Do ya need something I can getcha?” Tony shifted uncomfortably and shrugged as he looked away from Bucky. It seemed clear that there _was_ something he didn’t want to ask for. “Friday? Help me out here?”

There was a moment’s pause before the AI answered, “There is an ointment Captain Rogers usually applies to ease the pain and speed healing. They were interrupted before he could use it this evening.” 

Bucky marveled for a moment at the idea of _enjoying_ something that you needed time to heal from so much. But Tony clearly did. He wasn’t upset that it had happened; he was upset that Steve had left so soon afterward, apparently without making certain that Tony would be okay. 

“Okay Doll, I’m not gonna do anything ya don’t want me to. So do ya want me to get it and put it on for ya? It’s okay to say no, but if ya want it, that’s okay too.”

Tony hesitated, but eventually nodded and then shyly turned his face into the pillow. Bucky was again surprised by his actions. In the time he'd known the man, he had _never_ known him to be shy or reserved. He was confident, almost to the point of arrogance. He filled every room he entered, despite his small stature, and most people seemed to be afraid or in awe of him. The picture in front of him now did not fit anything of what Bucky _thought_ he knew about Tony Stark.

Bucky smoothed his hand through Tony’s hair one more time before he stood. “Alright, don’t try to go anywhere, okay? I’m just gonna get the ointment and I’ll be back before ya know it.”

Tony mumbled something into the pillow that might have been acceptance, and Bucky didn’t want to take the time to make him say it again. He moved swiftly, and Friday directed him to the correct drawer once he was in Tony’s room. He spared another frown for the state of the bed, determined to have a serious discussion with Steve when he finally got back. 

Less than a minute had passed by the time he returned to Tony, but even in that short time, he could see the tension that had built up in Tony. He hastily returned to his spot kneeling beside the bed and found Tony’s hand with his flesh one. He gave it a light squeeze in reassurance and felt Tony relax almost instantly. 

“I’m here, see, I told ya I’d be right back. Now, I need to lower your sweats to put this on, so if that’s okay, roll over on your stomach for me. If you get uncomfortable, ya just gotta say so and I’ll stop right away.” He was a little uncomfortable himself doing this when it clearly should have been Steve. But Tony was hurting and if this would help, then Tony himself was the only thing that could stop him. 

After a moment, Tony did roll over onto his stomach with his arms wrapped around the pillow that he was still using to hide his face. Bucky sighed in relief and took great care to lower Tony’s sweats to his knees without dragging the fabric across his abused skin. He was frankly amazed that Tony wasn’t in tears given the inflamed and bruised skin of his ass and thighs. Using his warm, flesh hand, Bucky scooped some of the ointment out of the jar and began rubbing it into the back of Tony’s thighs. He concentrated on keeping his touch light and gentle, not wanting to cause anymore pain to the other man. 

As he worked, Tony became even more relaxed and pliant under his ministrations. By the time he had made his way up and over Tony’s ass, the smaller man had drifted into a light doze, breathing easily, his face turned towards Bucky and looking peaceful as he slept. With the same gentleness he’d shown the whole night, Bucky carefully pulled Tony’s sweatpants back into place and then snugged the weighted blanket up around his shoulders. He put a glass of water on the table by the bed then walked around to the other side and sat down on top of the covers. He propped his pillow up to let himself lean back against the headboard and picked up his tablet. 

“Friday, would you send me some relevant articles about what Steve and Tony were doing tonight? Specifically in regards to what you do to recover after?”

“Of course, Sergeant. I’ve sent a thorough selection to your tablet.” Bucky thought he could detect the faintest tone of approval in the AI’s lilt, and he smiled in thanks as he settled in to read and keep an eye on Tony while he waited for Steve to return.


	2. In which Bucky and Friday get protective

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve comes home and Friday gets protective

Steve was still smiling softly, the memory of the long evening with Tony fresh in his memory, when he walked into the VA. The smile faded quickly though when a pale faced woman approached him and stuttered a greeting, clearly upset. She told him that Sam was on the roof, and he should be careful. He took the stairs three at a time, not wanting to waste time waiting for the elevator, and stepped out onto the roof. He moved lightly despite his size and Sam jumped in place when he seemed to appear from nowhere at his side.

Sam directed his attention towards the ledge, talking quietly as he filled him in on the situation. A young man stood there looking down over the city, his stance awkward due to the clumsy looking prosthetic that made up one leg from the knee down. Steve caught on immediately and settled in for a long night as he and Sam worked to bring the man back and show him all the reasons he should come back inside with them where they could help him face his demons. 

He heard the pair of text alerts, one after the other, when they sounded, but ignored them; his focus entirely on the situation at hand. It wasn’t until he finally made his way back to his bike with dawn starting to pink the sky that he remembered to check his phone. He felt the blood drain from his face as he saw the text and photo from Bucky. The time stamp confirmed they had been sent hours ago, and he felt a moment’s panic as he took in Tony’s obvious distress. 

He didn’t remember the ride back to the tower. He was sure he must have broken every traffic law on the books, but he didn’t care. His only reassurance was that Bucky was obviously with Tony. He would be taking care of him. Of course, that also burned, because Tony was _his_ , his responsibility, his to take care of, and he felt the heat of shame roll through him that he had allowed this to happen. 

The elevator room the upper floors was far to slow for him, but still faster than even he could have run 80 flights of stairs, so he forced himself to stand still as he watched the floor numbers climb. There was no one else in the common room so early when he finally exited the elevator, so he asked Friday, “Where is Tony?”

The AI's voice was cool when she replied. “Boss is in Sergeant Barnes’ room. He is sleeping and should not be disturbed.”

It didn’t even occur to him to wonder why Tony was in Bucky’s room as he turned in that direction, ignoring the AI’s suggestion that Tony be left to sleep. At least, he ignored her until the security door slid out of the wall to block the hallway, forcing him to slide to a stop.

“Friday, this isn’t funny. Let me through.” His voice was low and stern when he spoke and he clearly expected the door to open immediately. When it didn’t, he continued more sharply, “Open the door, now!”

“That tone might work on the boss, but it does not work with me, Captain Rogers. Boss needs to rest. You left him alone. Sergeant Barnes is caring for him. I’m certain one of them will call you if they need you. Again.” Despite his urgency to get to Tony, Steve had to marvel at the wonder of Tony’s creation. The AI sounded petulant and maybe a touch vindictive. Like a child finally getting her own way, she seemed to take pleasure in thwarting Steve. He knew that she was only doing this because she was worried about Tony and angry with him for leaving when he had. But he still _needed_ to get through that door, so he took a step back and looked up, a habit he’d never quite outgrown.

“Friday, did Tony or Bucky tell you to lock me out like this?”

There was a long moment before she answered, “No. But you left him when he needed you. He doesn’t need you now.” 

“I didn’t know, Fri, he said he was alr-”

“He was in no state to make that call, Rogers,” she interrupted him harshly. “You should have known better. You should have stayed.”

Steve’s head fell as her words hit him. She was right. A part of him knew it even before he left. Tony might as well have been high or drunk right after their scene, and in no condition to make decisions about his own welfare. Especially being Tony Stark; self-sacrifice should have been his middle name. He could have been bleeding out on the floor and he’d have still told Steve to go, he was fine. 

Before he could say anything else, a display panel lit up on the wall in front of him and he watched a loop from one of the security videos. It showed Tony stumble into the kitchen and give up on the coffee maker. He saw him sink the floor, heard the broken whisper, _“Steve… where are you…,”_ watched him break into uncontrolled sobs.

“Friday,” Steve pleaded with the AI and looked up to address her again, “I fucked up, I get it. But I just want to make it right. Please let me through. I just want to make sure he’s okay now, please.” If the AI wanted to see him beg, he’d do it. Right then, he’d do anything that would shut off that video and get him to Tony. “Please, Friday, please open the door.”

For a long while, nothing happened and Steve lowered himself to the floor and sat with his back to the door, waiting for Bucky or Tony to come out. He lost track of how many times he heard Tony whisper his name in that awful, heartbreaking tone that he never wanted to hear again. But eventually, Friday must have decided he’d suffered enough because the display went dark and the door finally slid open. He was on his feet and sprinting down the hallway in a flash, though he did have the presence of mind to pull himself to a stop and open the door carefully, rather than barging in full speed. Once he could see in, he stopped in shock and stared at the scene in front of him.

Bucky and Tony were both asleep in Bucky’s bed. Tony was wrapped in a thick comforter with only his head visible. He was curled up against Bucky, head resting on his broad chest. There were dried tear tracks on his cheeks and his hair was sticking in every direction, but his expression was otherwise soft and peaceful in his sleep. Bucky was half turned towards Tony, resting on top of the covers, but holding Tony gently in his arms, one leg thrown over the small genius as they slept. But while Tony looked calm, Bucky’s expression showed his tension, even in his sleep. 

Steve noticed Bucky’s tablet resting beside him, still glowing softly in the dark room. He couldn’t have asleep for too long if the screen was still lit. Steve stepped softly into the room and picked it up to set on the bedside table. But he froze when he saw the jar of cream he kept for Tony for after. He realized quickly that Bucky must have used it, which meant Bucky had his hands on Tony’s bare ass, had _seen_ the physical evidence of all they’d done. That was supposed to be private, between him and Tony. He felt distinctly uncomfortable at the idea of Bucky- or anyone- seeing and touching Tony so intimately. He felt his grip tighten on the tablet and forced himself to relax and set it down before he damaged it. He noticed the site Bucky had been reading as he did; a pretty reputable one for information about BDSM; the article on the screen was _“What is Aftercare and Why is it Important?”_

Shame filled Steve again as he began to understand all the implications of what Bucky had done. He should never have been exposed to this, never had to clean up Steve’s mess, not like this. He looked back at the sleeping pair as his thoughts grew darker and suddenly the situation didn’t look quite as innocent as it had a moment ago. He pushed that thought away, though, aware that it was his own concern and shame talking. Tony would never cheat on him, and if anything, he should feel grateful that Bucky had been here to do what needed to be done when Steve hadn’t been able to do it himself. Reassured that Tony was okay, he was about to back out of the room and let them sleep when he realized that Bucky’s eyes were open and his friend was glaring in his direction.

“Hey, Buck-” he started, but Bucky cut him off, scowling .

“Shut up, punk and get out. But don’t go too far, we gotta talk.” 

Steve winced at the justified anger in Bucky’s voice and he withdrew from the room. Pausing outside the doorway, Steve stood in the hallway and watched as Bucky gently shifted Tony so he could get up, carefully standing, and trying not to wake him. Even so, Tony stirred, and made a sound of protest when Bucky moved away. Bucky leaned down and kissed his temple, smoothing a hand through his hair.

“Shhh, _moy malyutka,_ go back to sleep.” He soothed Tony softly, and folded the comforter over to double the weight pressing down on the smaller man. He quieted under Bucky’s care, and quickly settled back down to sleep . 

Bucky closed the door behind him as he stepped into the hall, ignoring Steve as he strode past, heading to the common area. There, he leaned back against the arm of the overstuffed couch and crossed his arms, waiting for Steve to follow. “Friday, let me know if he starts to wake up, please? I don’t want him to wake up alone.” 

There was a brief pause before the AI responded.

“Please confirm permission to activate surveillance in your bedroom, Sergeant. That is outside my normal security protocols.”

Bucky smiled at the AI’s caution, and quickly gave his permission. “Yeah Fri, s’long as Tony’s in there, you can surveil to your heart’s content.”

His smile vanished when Bucky saw Steve follow him out into the common room. He was on his feet and moving forward in a flash; metal fist pulled back then darting out in a vicious jab at his best friend’s jaw. Steve landed on his ass and looked up at Bucky in shock. 

“Buck-” Steve’s voice was shook as he spoke, to try to explain himself, but Bucky cut him off.

“Oh shut up. You deserved that and more.” He reached his flesh hand out to pull Steve back to his feet. “I can only imagine Friday read you the riot act. I think she broke a dozen of her protocols when she called me to help him. You might wanna consider showering and doing your laundry somewhere else for a few days.” His mouth quirked into a smile for a moment as he considered the kind of payback the AI was likely to engage in, but he quickly grew serious once again. 

“Stevie, what you and Tony do- I don’t exactly understand it, but I get that it works for you both and I ain’t judging. I did a bunch of reading tonight so I’d know what to do for him. This subdrop? It’s serious, you asshole. People have killed themselves.” Bucky folded his arms across his chest as he glared at Steve. “I'm not saying that Tony was _that_ bad, but it _was_ bad enough for Friday to break her protocols. Have you ever tried to make her do that before? I thought it was impossible. She only told me about it so I'd understand how serious it was.”

Steve paled as Bucky said his piece, terrified by the thought of Tony trying to kill himself because Steve failed to take care of him right. “Buck, you know I'd never hurt him like that. I wouldn't have left at all if it wasn't important. There was a kid-”

Bucky waved off his explanation. “I know, it was all over the news. And I'm sure Tony will understand when he sees it in the morning. But you never shoulda left him like that. Alone, sleeping on dirty sheets, with a water bottle left like an afterthought? It's not good enough and you’re supposed to know that.” 

“God, Buck, you think I don’t know? I’m not blind. I saw what- I didn’t know. I should have known what could happen, but I didn’t think. I’m sorry, god, I’m so sorry.” Steve looked at Bucky, silently pleading for understanding, his blue eyes glistening with unshed tears. He loved Tony more than he could express and he hated that he’d done this to him. Of course, he hadn’t meant for it to happen, but Tony had put a great deal of trust in him, and he had failed in keeping that trust. 

“Save it, asshole. I’m not the one you need to apologize to.” Bucky returned the gaze with a hardness in his eyes. Seeing Tony broken and crying on the kitchen floor had affected him more strongly than he could have predicted. There were days when he felt like little more than a broken old soldier, but for the first time, he felt like that gave him an advantage. He knew what it was like to get lost in your own head, to feel like the world was crashing down around you while everyone else went blithely on their way. He understood that Tony needed help whether he wanted it or not, and with the help of Friday and the internet, he knew what to do and was more than willing to do it. 

Bucky was broken out of his thoughts by Steve laying a hand on his arm. “No Buck. I do owe Tony an apology, but I owe you a different one. You were put in a difficult position because of me and exposed to something you shouldn’t have had to be a part of. If I’d been more careful, that never would have happened. _Thank you_ , Buck, for helping him. And I’m sorry that you had to.”

Bucky’s eyes softened at the apology. He could never stay angry at Steve long anyway. He had just been taken by surprise by the whole situation. The Tony he knew was larger than life and seeing him broken down like that had triggered all of Bucky’s mother-hen instincts that had led him and Steve to be so close from the very beginning. And it had been gratifying the way Tony had responded to his care, slowly calming and growing more peaceful until he was finally comfortably asleep, trusting _Bucky_ to be there when he woke in the morning. After a moment, Bucky huffed and brushed Steve’s hand away, but there was no rancor in the motion.

“You’re exhausted, you idiot. Take a shower. Go to bed. You’ll see Tony when he wakes up, then you two can have it out.” 

“Buck, I don’t think- I need to see him now; he needs me.” Steve turned to head back towards the hallway that led to Bucky’s room where Tony was now sleeping. Bucky reacted with lightning fast speed, grabbing his arm to stop him from heading down the hall.

“No, Stevie, he _needed_ you. He doesn’t right now. Go to bed. I mean it. He’s been through enough tonight. Let him sleep and talk in the morning.” Bucky’s tone left no room for argument and he didn’t let go of his arm until Steve nodded his agreement and finally headed towards his and Tony’s bedroom, alone.

“Sergeant.” Friday’s voice sounded quiet but urgent in the large, empty room. “Boss is becoming restless in his sleep.”

Bucky didn’t respond, he just returned to his bedroom and carefully laid down beside Tony once more, pulling the smaller man back to rest against his side while he slept. Tony quieted again, and Bucky felt the tension drain from his own body as well. 

But part of wondered if he should have let Steve take his place and just spent the rest of the night on the couch. Tony belonged to Steve after all. Was he really going to be okay waking up next to Bucky in the morning? Or was Bucky just so starved for affection that he was using this as an excuse to take it where he could? Maybe he was being selfish and was no better than Steve had been, taking advantage of Tony’s compromised state of mind?

Eventually, his own thoughts quieted and he stayed where he was. If he was wrong, Tony would make that clear in the morning, and he’d apologize to both of them for overstepping. For now, he’d let himself be a little selfish.


	3. In which Tony and Steve finally talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after...

Tony woke feeling overly warm, confined, and confused. Something was off, and it took awhile for him to realize that he wasn't in his own bed. The next realization was that it was the extra heavy comforter making him feel closed in and he struggled to free his arms and push the blanket away enough that he could sit up. That's when he realized that arms around him weren't Steve's and he froze in a panic as he tried to remember how he ended up in bed with Steve's best friend.

Bucky was still asleep, looking young, peaceful, like he didn't have a care in the world. Nothing at all like his usual glowering self. As Tony watched him sleep, memories from the previous night began to filter back. 

Tony had been feeling out of sorts for days and he'd practically begged Steve to take him down and help him still his mind so he could focus on a new deal SI was trying to make. And Steve had come through in spades, giving Tony exactly what he needed. Right up until the part when he left. 

Tony remembered telling him to go, but everything after that got fuzzy. Something happened in the kitchen. He remembered crying on the floor. Then Bucky was there, carrying him to bed. He blushed as he remembered the cream, then blushed some more as he remembered making Bucky promise to be there when he woke up. God, the man must think he was crazy, or weak, or a freak. Or some combination of the three.

Bucky's arms tightened around him as he moved and Tony tried to extricate himself without waking the other man. He thought it would be best to do this walk of shame without having a conversation about it, and hopefully before anyone else was awake to see him emerge from a bedroom that wasn't his. He was so focused on trying not to wake Bucky that he nearly jumped out of his skin when he spoke. 

"Tryin' ta leave without sayin' goodbye, doll?" Bucky smirked at him lazily and let go of him as he stretched and then sat up himself.

Tony quickly averted his gaze from Bucky's bare back and the single muscular thigh he could see where the sheet fell away.

"I- yes. I mean no, not like that. I- I just didn't want to disturb you. You looked peaceful."

Bucky's teasing smirk softened into a genuine smile.

"I ain't disturbed. What about you? Didja sleep okay?"

Tony flushed and ducked his head. The events of the previous evening were crystal clear in his mind now. Tony wasn't typically one to care who saw him naked. He knew he was attractive, and he wasn't ashamed of his body, scars and all. But Bucky hadn't just seen his ass. He has found Tony at his most vulnerable and taken care of him in a very intimate way, and it was the memory of the intimacy that send heat flooding Tony's cheeks. He wasn't used to anyone but Steve seeing him vulnerable and open like that. 

"Yeah, slept fine," he finally said. "I, ah, I guess I owe you an apology. I'm sorry you-"

"Shh, no Doll, you ain't gotta apology for nothing." Bucky interrupted him gently but firmly. He clearly wasn't going to hear any kind of apology from Tony.

"Well, how about thanks, then? Pretty sure I owe some of those at least. You- you didn't have to do what you did."

Bucky looked like he wanted to argue again, but in the end he just accepted the thanks.

"You're welcome, Tony. It's what teammates do, yeah?"

"No, Snowflake," he replied with a raised eyebrow, "It's not what teammates do. But-" he hesitated and took a deep breath before he continued. "Maybe it's what friends do?"

This time, it was Bucky who looked away with a touch of pink growing on his cheeks.

"I- yeah, that'd be nice." Bucky smiled softly at Tony, no sign of his usual teasing smirk. Tony was starting to equate that smirk to his own press smile, and found that he much preferred the real thing. 

He returned the smile and stood, wincing a little at the soreness he felt. It was something he usually valued the morning after, enjoying the reminder of what only Steve had ever really been able to do for him, but this time, it was clouded by the memories of the drop instead and he wasn't enjoying it nearly as much. He collected the jar of ointment from the bedside table, and fought the blush he felt trying to rise.

"Thanks again. I guess I should go find Steve." He stopped, practically wringing his hands, an echo of last night's fears in his eyes. "He- he came back, right?"

"Yeah, Doll, he came back. Crazy t' get back to ya, but I made him leave ya alone. Thought ya needed t' sleep more. Hope I didn't overstep-"

"No, no I think you were right. Better to talk with a clear head. I- thanks."

"Tony, wait-" Bucky called out to him as he opened the door to leave and Tony turned back, question on his face. Bucky handed him a tablet with a news report on it. "You should take a look at that before you talk to Steve. That's why he left last night. Not saying that makes it right, but he had a reason, and it weren't nothing to do with you."

Tony scanned the report, his face going a little pale as read about the young man talked down off the roof by Captain America. He understood why Steve would leave for something like this, especially when Tony had told him to go. His drive to help others, to save people could easily have clouded his judgement, made him forget that Tony wasn’t necessarily in the right frame of mind to judge his own well being at the time. A lot of the lingering hurt Tony had been feeling started to slip away. Steve hadn’t abandoned him; he’d just gone to help someone else. After a long moment he handed the tablet back to Bucky.

"Thank you. Again. That explains a lot."

Tony slipped out of the room and let the door close behind him. He padded barefoot down the hall towards the common room with the jar he held hidden by the sleeve of Steve's too-big shirt. He was so lost in his thoughts as he crossed the room that he didn’t see Steve there until he walked right into his broad chest. He let out a yelp as he stumbled back, but Steve’s arms wrapped around him before he could fall and pulled him back into a tight, almost desperate embrace.

“ _Tony_ ,” Steve breathed into his hair. “I’m so sorry, baby, so sorry.” He held him like that for an endless moment, one arm tight around Tony’s waist, the other hand buried in Tony’s hair, keeping his head pressed close to Steve’s chest. 

Tony stiffened in the embrace then forced himself to relax. Intellectually, he might have accepted that Steve hadn’t really left him, but apparently, his heart still hadn’t received the message.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was a little shorter than I intended it to be, but when it feels right, what can you do?


	4. In which Steve and Tony finish their conversation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony and Steve finish their conversation and have some sexy times. Thanks to BuckyBear#8115 from the Stuckony Discord for Beta-ing this chapter for me.

“Steve-” After an impossibly long moment, Tony started to feel like he couldn’t breath and pushed against Steve, trying to get a little room between them. “Babe, you’re squishing me.”

Steve loosened his grip on Tony and pulled back just enough to bring his hands up to gently cup his face, his thumbs drawing light circles over Tony’s cheeks. Tony’s breath hitched as he looked into Steve’s eyes. Steve leaned in and brushed his lips against Tony’s in a kiss that started chaste but soon developed into something filled with heat and passion. Tony whimpered into the kiss and tried to pull away, but Steve’s grip, gentle as it was, was firm and unyielding. 

Tony wanted nothing more than to lose himself in the kiss and _forget_ , but he just couldn’t. They _had_ to talk, and if Tony didn’t stop this now, they probably never would. So he lifted his hand up between them and pushed his fingers against Steve’s lips, forcing him to break the kiss.

“Steve, _Steve_ , stop. We have to talk first." Steve finally let him go with a sigh and a last kiss pressed against his forehead. Tony gave him a smile and reached for his hand as they walked towards the kitchen. 

Tony froze at the entrance to the kitchen suddenly enough that Steve actually bumped into his back.

"Tony, what is it?" Steve's concern was clear in his voice.

Tony stared into the room, eyes fixed on the place where he had collapsed the night before. He couldn't make himself step any further into the room. So he turned to face Steve, eyes wide, trembling as he pushed past him away from the kitchen.

"I don't- I can't- Not in there, come on let's go to the-" Not the bedroom. Tony quickly realized he couldn't have this conversation there either. "Workshop. Let's go talk in the workshop." That was Tony's safe place, the place he retreated to whenever he needed to hide from the rest of the world and lose himself in the frenzy of creation until his mind quieted.

Steve frowned, not understanding why Tony suddenly refused to enter the kitchen, but short of grabbing him and carrying him in, there was really nothing he could do about it, so he shrugged and followed Tony down to the workshop. 

Tony felt the tension wash out of him as soon as he entered the familiar, comforting space. He moved immediately to the small counter where a coffee maker stood and started the machine. He kept his back to Steve while he waited for the coffee, taking deep breaths to calm himself while savoring the aroma of brewing coffee. When the coffee was finished brewing, Tony poured two mugs; a little cream for Steve and extra sugar for himself, then turned to offer one to Steve.

Steve accepted the mug with a frown on his face. He stood there for a moment with his arms crossed without taking a drink.

“Tony, what are we doing down here? We can have coffee in the kitchen.”

“No, Steve, I can’t. Not right now, not after last night.” Tony shook his head, trying to clear the worst of the memories away. He wanted to talk, not get lost in a flashback.

“Listen, I saw the news. I’m glad you were there to help that kid, I really am. I just- I can’t go through that again. I- There’s still a voice in my head whispering that you left me because I wasn’t good enough. Even knowing all that I know, I can’t make it stop.”

“Tony, that’s ridiculous. Of course I didn’t leave you. You are enough just as you are and you don’t have anything to prove; I love you.”

“I know that up here.” Tony tapped his head the paused and laid his hand over his heart. “But it feels different here.” He looked at Steve and could see the frustration on his face. “Hey, sweetheart, I’m not trying to blame you. I just need to know that it won’t happen again. I need to be able to trust you.”

“Are you saying you don’t trust me?” Steve’s eyebrows shot up at that and his voice was incredulous.

"Of course I trust you. Which is why I'm trying to have this conversation instead of hiding what's going through my head. I just- I want to have a plan in case something like this happens again."

"I don't know, it sounds an awful lot like you don't trust me, if you think you need to plan for something that will never happen."

"But Steve, it _did_ happen. You know what subdrop means, but I don't think you understand how much _I never want to feel that again._ And yes, I know it can be unpredictable, and it could still happen for some other reason. But is it really asking too much to want some peace of mind that _this_ won’t repeat?."

He looked down and his voice was barely a whisper when he continued. "I wanted to die, Steve. I thought it would hurt less. Please, if you say it'll never happen again, then it doesn't cost anything but a few minutes time to make a plan we'll never need to use."

Before Tony knew what was happening, strong arms were wrapped around him, pulling him close. “Tony-” Steve’s voice came out in a strangled gasp. “I’m sorry. You’re right, I saw the video, I know you’re right. I just hate that it happened and I won’t let you go through that again; I swear.”

Tony drifted for a moment, lost in the feeling of a large hand rubbing warm circles over his back while gentle fingers ran over and over again through his hair. It would be so easy to let it go, to accept Steve’s word that it was a fluke, an accident, and really would never happen again. But he had to face the facts of their lives. They were Avengers. The fact was either one of them could get called in at any time and this could conceivably happen again at any time. If he thought about it, it was a miracle it hadn’t happened before. So he slowly extricated himself from Steve’s embrace; it was almost painful pulling away from him, but he had to do it.

“Steve, listen to me, babe. We don’t want it to happen again. But logically, it could. You have to accept that.” Steve frowned and opened his mouth to interrupt but Tony laid a hand over his mouth to stop him. “If it makes it easier for you, consider this a hard limit.”

Steve’s frown deepened, deep lines of concern appearing on his forehead for a moment. He kissed Tony’s fingers before pulling his hand away

“Alright. If it’s that important, we’ll do it. What do you need?”

Tony hesitated for a moment. What _did_ he need? It was easy to say he never wanted to feel like that again, but how did they prevent it? After a moment of thought, he drew in a deep breath and looked nervously at Steve. 

"I want you to call someone to come be with me if you ever have to leave like that again. Someone who will understand and keep me from the worst while you're gone."

Steve ran a hand over his face as he considered what Tony was suggesting. He was quiet for a long time and Tony started to feel anxious about it.

"Babe? What are thinking?"

"I don't know, Tony. It feels like adding someone else to our relationship. I'm not really into that. You're mine, and I won't share you."

"Okay, that's kinda hot in the middle of sex, but you don't own me. Still, I'm not asking you to share me. That's not really my thing either. I just want to know that there's someone I can trust to call if I drop like that again and you can't be here."

"Okay. That's fair. Who would you suggest?"

"Hmm, probably Pepper or Rhodey would be my first choice. They both...understand. I wouldn't have to make awkward explanations and they would both be willing."

"No." Steve's objection was flat and unyielding. "I'm sorry, but no. I'm not comfortable having one of your exes that intimately involved in our relationship. Hard limit."

That stung a little, as if Steve didn't trust him, but hard limits were hard limits, and Tony wasn't going to push it.

"Okay. Is there someone else _you_ would trust? Cause no one else comes to mind for me right now."

Steve was quiet for a moment, a thoughtful expression on his face. Tony imagined a virtual list running through his mind as he crossed out the names of people he wouldn't trust with Tony's well being. Tony waited, giving him time to think, and he could see the moment when Steve decided.

"Bucky."

Tony just blinked at him for a moment until it became clear he wasn't going to say anything else.

"That's it? Just Bucky? No argument to convince me?"

"If I have to convince you, then he's not a good choice," Steve explained with a shrug. "You asked who I would trust and I trust Bucky with everything. Plus he's already taken care of you once, so no need for any more awkward explanations. Bucky’s my choice; if you can trust him to take care of you again, then so do I."

Tony considered the possibility of turning to Bucky _again_ if he ever found himself in that situation again, and he realized it wasn't a bad thought. Bucky had been kind, careful, and entirely understanding. He had taken care of him in every possible way without taking any advantage or crossing any lines. Tony had felt safe with him. 

"Alright. Bucky it is. Do you want to ask him or should I?"

"It's my responsibility to take care of you. I'll talk to him. Later."

With that, Steve grabbed Tony and pulled him in flush against his body, one hand gripping his hair and tugging lightly as he tipped his face up for a kiss. He broke it too soon, however, and Tony whined at the loss. Steve leaned down to nip along his jaw until his lips were by Tony's ear before he spoke.

"Be quiet, now. Here's what's going to happen. I am going to lay you down on the couch over there and proceed to show you exactly how much I love you."

Tony let out another small whimper and Steve brought his hand up to cover Tony's mouth in response. 

"You are going to lay there and take everything I give you because you deserve to feel good, and I know best how to make that happen. You will not move or speak or make any sound at all, unless you need to use your safeword. Do you understand?"

Tony gazed at Steve, eyes already a little glassy. He opened his mouth to answer but snapped it shut before any sound came out and nodded instead. Steve hummed in approval and slid a hand up under Tony's shirt to rub a thumb over one of his nipples. 

Tony bit his lip to hold in his gasp of pleasure and Steve smirked as he felt Tony tremble as he fought not to arch his back into the touch. 

"Good, Tony, that's so good, sweetheart. Let's get you undressed."

Steve proceeded to remove Tony's clothing, moving slowly, and kissing every inch of his skin as it was uncovered. By the time Tony was naked, he was fully hard, cock jutting up into the air and leaking drops of pre-come onto the floor. He was so tense with the effort of keeping still under Steve's mouth and hands that he was half afraid he might just fall flat on his face. 

Steve walked slowly around him, fingertips trailed a burning path across his abdomen until he stood directly behind him. He wrapped his arms around Tony and leaned in the nuzzle the sensitive spot where his neck and shoulder met.

"I need you to relax sweetheart. You're so tense, you’re going to hurt yourself. You're doing so good for me,Tony. Just relax now and let me take care of you."

Tony took a deep breath then blew it out, letting his body relax so he could just enjoy the feel of Steve’s hands moving over his body. He felt them move across his stomach, up his arms and over his shoulders, down his hips and back up his thighs with fingers trailing along the inside still without touching his cock at all. 

Through it all he kept quiet and still despite every part of his mind screaming for him to twist and squirm and push himself harder into Steve’s hands. It seemed like Steve could still sense his inner turmoil, however, because he just kept stroking his hands slowly over Tony’s body, and talking soothingly in his ear, voice low and deep.

“So good, Tony, you’re perfect, love. So beautiful, can’t keep my hands off you. Come on, baby, just relax. Let go and I’ll take care of you, that’s all I want to do.”

Steve kept soothing and caressing Tony’s body until he started to lean back against Steve’s chest. With a grin, he then bent and scooped Tony up into his arms without any warning at all. Tony yelped in surprise and Steve immediately covered Tony’s mouth with his own, swallowing the sound.

“Shhh, sweetheart, stay quiet now,” Steve murmured against his lips as he laid him out on the couch.

Tony lost all sense of time passing after that. Steve was relentless in his teasing, hands and mouth covering Tony’s body, stroking his cock and balls with the lightest of touches, fingers barely trailing over the sensitive skin. He licked and sucked Tony’s throat and nipples, occasionally leaving bright red bruises in his wake.

Every second of it was a struggle. He wanted to moan and writhe and push himself up against Steve’s clever tongue working over his nipples. He wanted to fuck up into Steve’s fist and gain any relief for his aching cock. But if Tony moved or made a sound, which he did frequently at first, then it all stopped and Steve sat patiently waiting for Tony to settle quietly again. Once he did, Steve started all over again, driving Tony right to the edge of his orgasm and pulling back to start all over again.

This went on and on until Steve took a pebbled nipple into his mouth and Tony’s only reaction was an involuntary ripple of his abs. Then he reached for Tony’s other nipple and rolled it between his fingers, watching Tony’s cock twitch with a spurt of precome pooling onto his stomach. But he was otherwise still and silent just as Steve wanted him to be.

“Oh baby, that’s perfect. You’re so beautiful like this, all mine to play with and so perfect for me. Just a little bit more now, sweetheart, just stay quiet a little longer.”

With that, Steve ran his fingers through the puddle of precome that had gathered on Tony’s navel and wrapped a hand around his cock, forgoing the light teasing touches to grasp him firmly around the base. Tony’s mouth fell open, but he held back his moan, and his hips quivered, but he didn’t move and Steve hummed in approval and began to stroke, slowly at first, but quickly picking up speed. 

“Alright, Tony, let go, baby. Come for me, now. Let me hear you.”

That was all the encouragement Tony needed after holding back for so long and his orgasm exploded out him along with a frantic shout as his hands came up to clutch at Steve. Steve continued to stroke him through his orgasm and leaned forward to kiss him deep and passionate, drinking in the sound of his cries. He pulled Tony up into his arms and continued to stroke and soothe him through the aftershocks until Tony stilled once more into a loose puddle of bliss in his arms. Steve kissed his temple and crooned wordlessly into his hair for a few minutes more, loving the soft, pliant weight of Tony molded against him, before picking him up and leaving the workshop behind.

“Come on, love. Let’s get you cleaned up and go back to bed.”

**Author's Note:**

> This fic begins with established Stony, however, the endgame is Stuckony with a stop at Winteriron on the way. There will be a happy ending. I am choosing not to use archive warnings, however, I will say that there will be no underage or major character death in this fic.


End file.
